Twinkle is Britain's first online agony pervert. She knows all the problems - and how to extract the answers! Send your vexations, conundrums, questions and queries to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

I have recently bought my first rubber top, but I find it extremely difficult to put on, itchy and uncomfortable. Can you give me advice - at the moment I can't wear it for more than a few minutes at a time.

One of the most common problems with wearing rubber is to not use enough talc. Unsufficient talcing can also lead to nasty tears (and lead to tears of the crying sort,come to think of it!). Before attempting to put on any tight-fitting rubber, talc yourself liberally all over. Turn the rubber item inside out and talc that well too.

Don't worry about messing up the shine, that can be tackled later. Gently ease yourself into the item - getting a friend to help makes it much more fun! Remove visible talc with a cloth dampened with Perv-O-Shine or another latex cleaner, available from good fetish shops.

Finish off with an unhealthy dose of silicone spray and you'll be glossed up for the night's pleasures. It's worth investing in a copy of Leather and Latex Care by Kelly J. Thibault (Daedalus Publishing, San Francisco) as well.

A final tip: don't attempt to wear Y-fronts under your rubber leggings. If you must wear pants, Honour do a plain pair of black rubber control knix for women at £17.50, and Expectations do men's briefs for £13.95.

I am considering making my grand entrance into the london fetish scene at the next TG on the 27th Oct. Dress code is troubling me though (oddly enough, can't afford to splash out on that great kinky leather outfit yet!). Where can I get some advice on what Ican wear? Shoes are the problem, I can afford some bondage trousers or a rubber kilt (saw one in Camden today - awesome!), but some nice boots are £100+ !! Is there anywhere to hire costumes? Iwould prefer to go fetish/kinky rather than theatrical.

How's your body? If you don't mind showing off your top half, you'll look great in just a rubber kilt and a pair of Black DMs or combats. Lots of blokes (and some women) go to TG in just shorts or trousers. With good reason - it can get bloody hot in there!

Or perve it up with a fishnet top from Fallen Angel. £20 for sleeveless or £28 for longsleeved.

Hiring is all very well if you've got the money and you know you only want the outfit for a one-off. they can be good value if you are looking or a really strong look such as period costume or full uniform. Angels costume hire does a wide range but you're looking at at least £70 plus £100 deposit. You're better off building up a personal wardrobe, bit by bit.

Instead, visit one of London's fetish markets for cutprice rubber, leather and fantasy gear (and a fun Sunday afternoon) Read my article on footwear and you won't go far wrong in that department.

And remember - money can't buy style, baby!

I wonder if you could advise on what to wear for our first visit to Club RUB on the 14th October. Not way out for the first time.

One of the fun things about Club RUB is they always have a kinky theme for their parties. This month it's "trust me I'm a nurse - Emergency Room" - yep, one for all you medical fetishists out there.

A Carry-On style nurse's outfit for him or her would go down a treat, provided it's worn with sexy black stockings and high heels - and that means you too boy! Not expensive from fancy dress or novelty shops. Or if you want to spend and wear a bit less, how about a couple of long bandages, carefully wrapped round your essentials?

Do you know any good places to stay after clubbing, which don't cost the earth? Some of us don't live in London or have cars.

Tell me about it! One great thing about London fetish clubs is that a lot of them go on all night, so you can just get a bus or tube to the railway terminal of your choice at the end of the night. I love coming home as the milkman is doing his rounds and then sleeping all day...

London is one of the most expensive places in the world for hotels. If anyone knows of a cheap, clean perve-friendly dosshouse in central London, then This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it me!

Not tested, but looking promising:The UK Hotels Register lists a number of inexpensive central hotels, including the Saint Simeon in SW7 which does basic double rooms for £45 a night.

I'm NOT going to recommend that you accept any offers of accommodation from people you meet in the club on the night. Chances are, as the effects of the Bacardi Breezers wear off, you'll find yourself on a nightbus to Wanstead sitting next to an unattractive groper with a psychopathic glint in his/her eye. If that's not your kink, avoid!

I sport a massive Prince Albert piercing on my schlong. It's a hassle when it comes to shagging, as condoms don't fit properly or split. Can you recommend any good condoms?

Hmmm, and I thought metalwear was supposed to ENHANCE sexual activity? I spoke to Shannon Larratt from the Body Modification E-zine about your problem and his response was simply that he's never had a problem, and he thinks you might be showing off!

So I tried the Terence Higgins Trust. They passed me on to condom expert Ann Marie at Condomstore who recommended polyurethane rather than latex, which they agree would most probably tear. Top choice from Ann Marie was the Durex Avanti (also slightly baggy) or Ezon.

As it happens, Condomstore is currently doing an offer of 21 free condoms - you just pay for the postage and packing. Check out their website for details. Happy humping!