How painful it is to have a tattoo and clit piercing? I`m afraid of needles and pain, but thinking of having either of the two cause I reckon it`s sooooo sexy!
angeldolly

Twinkle replies: Angeldolly, the only real answer is that everybody's different. Just as some of are painsluts and some great big jessies, these two procedures can be wildly different experiences depending on who's having them done.

With tattoos, the general rule is the fattier the tissue being decorated, the less it will hurt. So a good first place for a first tattoo would be the upper arm, or the butt cheeks. A more painful place would be any bony area such as the ankle.

If you are really afraid of pain, make sure you get a pirecing or tattoo done after a good night's sleep and when you are feeling well in yourself. Although the pain will still be there, it will be easier to handle.

Clitoral piercings come in several types, not all of them suitable for every woman. Most people who talk about clit piercings actually have the clit hood pierced, either vertically or horizontally. My own genital piercing is a vertical clit hood, which I had done four years ago after much trepidation. The pain was intense but only lasted for a second or two, followed by a tremendous endorphin rush. Healing was trouble free and quick. Horizontal hood piercings are similar.

It is possible to pierce the clit itself if it is large enough, although many pierces won't do this. A rare but significant side effect of this can be desensitisation.

The rarest -but some say ultimate - clitoral piercing is the triangle. This piercing passes under the clit itself, allowing stimulation not only from above the clit but under it. There is also a small chance that densitisation could result. This piercing also depends on your anatomy and requires an experienced piercer.

Whatever you go for, make sure you choose a reputable piercer or tattooist. If you can't get a personal recommendation from a friend, have a look at the experiences written up in the Body Modification E-zine.

It's a strange time in my life, a quarter of a century, and I'm thinking of all the promises I have made to myself over the years. I think most people have at least thought, about fetish at some point in their lives. Me, I would like to do more than just think. My problem is that I am not sure if I fit into the real fetish scene. The one thing I don't want to do is go out one night and ruin someone elses fun by going over the top (not my style but..), wimping out (more like me) or just sticking out like a sore thumb and ruining the atmosphere. Perhaps the worse thing for me would be being turned away altogether. The reason I am unsure is that my fetish is so pedestrian, a lot of of what I like seems to have crossed over to more main stream. I just love the look and feel of a woman in rubber, Latex and Leather or the incredible shape of a corset. No pain, no masks and only a minor interest in bondadge. For me it's mainly the clothes. I think my real problem starting out is that I am more of a blob than I should be, I would have to find something to wear, skin tight latex might be a bit of a mistake. What kind of outfit is good for a beginer to build confidence Really what I need is some advice on do's and don'ts and where to go. Also do people think I would fit in? It can be hard for a single guy to break in sometimes, people arn't so comfortable around you. So any help I can get will be greatly appreciated Paul

Twinkle replies: You're right, single guys have it harder than single girls on the fetish club scene, but it's not impossible to fit in there, so long as you have the right attitude.

Of course you will have to find something to wear - most clubs have a strict fetish dress code. fortunately, your love of latex and leather puts you smack bang in the mainstream of the clubbing scene. A pair of rubber jeans are generally less fitting than leggings, but a little more expensive. Expectations do loose fitting sweat pants in rubber for £82. Skin Two's Classic Latex shirt is fitted but not too tight either. Likewise, some fine leather jeans (not biker trousers, PLEASE!) look good on most men. Couple that with a Renaissance shirt and leather waistcoat and you have the basic, common-or-garden male fetish club outfit.

Get shopping and find something that suits you. We don't all look like the catalogue models, as you'll find when you get to your first club.

If you're dressed according to the code you should get in, although many of the larger clubs sell out these days. It's worth getting your tickets in advance.

Club Rub is friendly to newcomers, for example. First time out enjoy looking - but don't touch unless specifically invited to. Just cos it's on show doesn't mean it's yours to grab. Watch how others behave and read the dungeon etiquette signs. Don't try to talk to people playing in the dungeon. If you want to chat, the bar is the best place.

If it's still all too intimidating, London Fetish Scene does newbies clubbing trips occasionally. Keep checking back and get yourself along on one.

I love the look of rubber but I have developed a latex allergy through wearing gloves at work (I was a nurse). Is there any latex-free rubber clothing available?

Twinkle replies: I've looked but I can't find any latex-free rubber fetishwear on the web. If such a thing exists, please someone This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . If you have or suspect you might have a latex allergy - don't even try rubber clothing. Get yourself along to the GP and get yourself tested. Exposure can be fatal.

But don't give up! Shiny PVC can look as good as rubber and doesn't require the same maintenance. Killajoules is a new company that canmake up clothes in any fabric, or try any of the major fetish clothing shops in our Rubber Pages.

I have been chatting on Yahoo Messenger for about a year and made some great online friends. One of them though has started pestering me to meet him in real life. I'm not interested in taking things beyond our online relationship but he has threatened to tell my employer about my SM fantasies if I don't agree to meet him. What should I do? I am terrified.

Twinkle replies: Firstly, don't engage in any more conversation with this man. Yahoo has an abuse reporting service. Delete this man from your "Friends" list and choose "Ignore" if he messages you again.

Now, think. What personal information have you given this man? Does he know your real name, address, employer and workplace? If so, the chances of him actually contacting them are slim, but the fear and uncertainty can affect your work. Speak with your union rep or personnel officer. No need to go into specifics, just say you have been harassed online and are worried that your stalker may try to contact your workplace. Almost employers will be sympathetic, and it is better to strike first. They may be able to screen your calls and will be alerted to anyone trying to contact the company about you.

Does this man have intimate photo files of you? Is your face clearly identifiable in them? If not, don't worry. If so, and the worst happens, you haven't done anything illegal. You don't have to admit the pictures are genuine should it become an issue (it probably won't anyway). Blackmail however is illegal. If you have any inkling that this man is stalking you in real life, contact the police.

Now, if you still want to chat online, be extremely careful. Delete your old profile and create a new one that can't be linked to the old one. Only tell the online friends who you really trust about the change. Your new profile should be vague about your real name, your location and your employment. Keep your email addresss private, and don't post a recognisable picture of yourelf on the profile (I have a favourite cartoon on mine). Read and follow a guide to safe chatting such as this one. Above all, trust your instincts.

I have a son aged six months and don't get out a lot. Much as I'd love to, clubbing is a no-no. Would I be able to take him along with me to the London Fetish Fair or into a fetish shop? He is way too young to know where he is.

Twinkle replies: The London Fetish Fair has a strictly over 18s admission policy. Fetish shops have individual policies on children, but best ring ahead to check.