I came home from whipmeister Alex Cobra's new SM whip class with a bit of a sore bum and a big grin. I can't think when I last enjoyed myself so much on a Saturday afternoon.
The Boyfriend had once seen Alex perform his great big cracking bullwhip act at a fetish club and had never forgotten it, so when I asked if he fancied a couple of hours of virtuoso whip demo down at the Cobra's Lair, Alex's coolio warehouse-style dungeon, he sprang off the sofa in an instant.
"Shall I wear a vintage dress or jeans and heels?" I purred at him seductively, fishing out the red lipstick (you know, try and get in the mood for a bit of whipping and all that). I couldn't have predicted, at that moment, that later on I'd be bloody glad he'd picked the jeans option.
There were six of us total (three pairs) - about as big a class as you'd want, plus dungeon-mistress-about-town, EGO, as a general helping hand, and pretty girl Sasha for Alex to demo on. For openers we ranged ourselves along the black leather sofa and one of those naughty gym horse things, looking all a bit shuffly and embarrassed at first, to admire Alex's extensive collection of handmade whips.
He certainly knows what he's talking about, and his engaging delivery - examples, anecdotes, jokes, what-not-to-do's - absorbed us quickly. Listening to his spiel was so interesting that, after that, even I (usually the whipped, not the whipper) hopped up to have a twirl with one - it was a sjambok, Alex said, a long leather curly thing with a lash on the end - and see if I could make it crack.
Meanwhile, and with a bit of help from Alex, who stalked about surveying everyone's technique and offering hints and tips, the Boyfriend seemed to be swiping his whip determinedly away at a boxing bag hanging on the other side of the room. Believe it or not I hadn't quite clicked that Part Two of the class would be Application Of Swiping Techniques To A Real Human Bottom (I'd somehow thought we were just going to practise in the abstract).
First we watched young Sasha get her bottom done by Alex, with running commentary ("stand a bit to the left for this little stinger, a bit to the right for that type of stripe" etc) and then - eek, hoorah - we were reunited with our partners to give the trainee whip-hands a chance for some supervised practice. We split the room in three, two girls bent over tall stools, me over some fancy whipping bench I pulled out of the corner. The really good bit of this part is that Alex comes round observing all the flailing, then takes the whip off your other half to show 'em how it's really done. This means you get a few strokes from Alex yourself (highly recommended, ladies, teehee) but in the guise of him demonstrating improved technique to your partner (no-one could get jealous about that now, could they?).
I peeped at the Boyfriend from under my hair in a momentary lull, whilst Alex was explaining some advanced technical manoeuvre or other to him. I thought he looked like he was really having a nice time - grinning ear-to-ear, hefting his whip about, swapping jokes with Alex. I won't deny that I was having quite a nice time as well - I even started to zone out in between the parts where he caught me on the side or the lower back by accident and woke me up.
Alex demonstrated breast whipping as a final, virtuoso encore, on each of the ladies present (the ladies moaned with pleasure, their partners watched with admiration mentally calculating distances and whip tensions). Fortuitously though, it was the end of the class before the Boyfriend had had a chance to do more than size me up with an evil gleam in his eye - I was already gonna go home with a tender arse (and if I hadn't worn the jeans it could have been a lot worse!).
A Saturday afternoon's SM whipping with Alex will appeal to: couples, straight and gay who want to spice up their spanking sessions (the session I went to was all straight, but last time it was mixed and he's soon to run a girls-only gig); sub men who can drum up a mistress or master to take along with them (bliss for the sub and even the most experienced dom/me can learn a thing or two from Alex - no-one at all fails to be impressed by his bullwhip demo); fetish scene pals who've paired up to role-play for an afternoon; anyone who'd like to help their partner or friend upskill so that dull, random and unmeditated sloshing at their bum becomes a thing of the past.
Now the Boyfriend wants one of Alex's handmade whips for himself, of course. There's a bit of a waiting list for these but I don't mind that and neither does my arse.
Transport: super-easy to get to - the Cobra's Lair is right next to Hackney Wick station.
Next session: book now for Saturday 23rd September, 2-5pm Cost: £70/couple, £35/head