Humour

Watching the quiet, old man in the corner as he swiftly masturbated I wondered how long he must have been mastering his art. Certainly his whole adult life as with us all, but in his case I think he had long ago chosen to make this activity his life's work; he was an expert wanker - a wanker
extraordinaire.

I then allowed my imagination to wander a little. As I do. Imagine if Wanking really was a vocation one could learn? You would begin your career on a "Wanking Apprenticeship" learning the tricks of the trade from an "Old Hand" before gaining the basic qualification and finding a place to practise your new skills. Maybe you would join a Company of Wankers who
commended their services with billboards like "Wanking while you Wait" or "Wanking since 1898 - the last one is still as good as the first!"

Perhaps a group of Wankers would have their own collective noun and be called a Perv of  Wankers, or even a Palm of Wankers?) Could you join a professional body like the Honourable Guild of Master Wankers or you may even - if you were very good - practise as a Freelance Wanker offering bespoke wanking consultancy services to the very rich or someone....needing that personal touch.

I then realised that I was still watching the old man and he had begun to look at me and so to avoid entering any potential contractual obligations I got up, said "great wanking",  and politely made my exit. 

Jamie