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unspeakable
1. Not able to express in words
2. Too bad or horrific to express in words
The word consent dates back to the 13th century, it was born out of a sense revolution that was taking place in France, it captured a sensation of togetherness, two people agreeing, giving permission and creating a sense fuelled experience which enveloped them both.
But language is liberation, for an individual who vocalises a taboo desire and unleashes it into the world, for the people who walked away from a scene that went awry and decide to unpack it rather than hide from it, for the person who has unequivocally had their consent violated and needs support.
We are going to talk about personal responsibility, we're going to break down consent and kink into different layers with real life examples, we're going to talk about the difference between responsibility and blame, we're going to talk about pushing limits, we're going to talk about consensual nonconsent in terms of both scenes and ongoing within a power exchange relationship, we're going to write down our limits, we're going to do some roleplay demos*, we're going to play a video game designed to explore consent in BDSM, we're going to talk about the difference between action and intention, we're going to talk about how to have difficult conversations with an aim towards mediation and understanding, we're going to talk about how consent can be broken from the bottom up as well as the Top down, we're going to talk about safety and play - focusing particularly on playing with new people.
And we're going to talk about what to do if abuse has taken place. I'm going to have a list of resources for victims within London that I've personally contacted and been assured that their services are confidential and non-judgemental, specifically in regards to BDSM. The organisations I'm approaching cover a broad range of support structures from women only, men only, LGBT+only, POC only and mixed. I'll also have material on how to offer support to someone who is going through a traumatic period.
If people would like any additional information or content around legal issues or something else I haven't thought of then please get in touch with me and I'll try and make it happen.
If there's something you think I've overlooked or a perspective you think would add value, please send me a message with your feedback. Likewise, if you think you can contribute to the event, please get in touch.
*For the demos I would like to get as diverse a selection as possible, people who are comfortable with same sex/queer demos and gender parity for tops/bottoms. If you're interested in taking part then please send me a message for more information.
A large portion of this workshop, particularly the consent content, was created by @Demi_Monde who has been running it on the Irish scene for the last few months to fantastic reviews.
This is a Feminist and Kink London event, so before attending please read the Group Rules. The event will take place in a private function room, accessed unfortunately via a staircase in the middle of the pub (I'm hoping to find a more accessible venue for future events) or you can just ask the bar staff where the feminism event is taking place.
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